


Phasma's Birthday

by ImperialRemnant



Series: Shenanigans of the Force Kind [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Birthday, Gen, Randomness, Short, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 12:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialRemnant/pseuds/ImperialRemnant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo has discovered his love for cleaning, and Hux wonders what he did when he was drunk. Also, it’s Phasma’s birthday and she celebrates with a cupcake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phasma's Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably my shortest one (Not sure). I wrote it on my birthday last month, hence why it's Phasma's birthday ;P  
> No editor, so there's probably grammar and/or tense issues.

 Pushing a mountain of cleaning products along hadn’t, at first, been Kylo’s idea of fun. But swiping along the dirty corridors, watching the grim covered floor become shiny again was strangely soothing. 

It started after cleaning Hux’s room. All that rice everywhere, seeing the floor become clear of the white grain again. It amazed him. So after he had come back from a private mission with the other Knights, he had started to clean his own room. He felt superb. Then he cleaned out the other Knights rooms- some objected, others didn’t care. Mind blowing. So finally he had gathered a bunch of cleaning products, going through the corridors, pushing it along, cleaning people’s floors and tables. Force! Even the walls!

He rounded a corner and accidentally crashed the cart into someone who yelled out. Just Kylo’s luck that it was General Hux.

“General, I’m so sorry!” Kylo said. He hadn’t seen the General since the morning he came back drunk.

“Kylo?” Hux pulled himself off the floor by holding onto the cart, “What are you doing?”

“Thought I’d clean this place up a little more,” He explained, hands on hips, he nodded, “It’s going quite well.”

Hux looked suspicious.

“I swear that’s all I’m doing,” Kylo said when Hux didn’t speak.

“No, I uh, I believe you,” Hux told him, “I just... cleaning? Really?”

“Yeah, ever since I cleaned your room.”

“My room?”

“The rice incident. We had a great conversation, feelings were sort of said. You went out to drink, came back smashed-“

“Oh, that’s why I had such a bad hangover,” Hux said scratching his head, “you know, people always talk about the migraines and thirst, but nobody ever mentions the diarrhoea.”

“Yeah! You came back and were talking about a picnic. Then you passed out and Phasma and I had to-,”

“Phasma was there!?” Hux sounded alarmed.

“Yeah,” Kylo told him, “Anyway, we carried you to your bed. I accidentally knocked a glass of water on you, you woke up, puked everywhere! It was horrifying. I think I got scarred for life.”

“Oh god, what else did I do?” Hux was now nervous.

“Funny you should ask that. Turns out you had ordered many tutus, a gundark, rancor and a lot of rice. Lots and lots of rice. I think you were trying to get onto my good side.”

Hux was silent. Kylo wasn’t sure what else to say, so he tapped the edge of the cleaning cart “I should probably continue cleaning.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Hux nodded, “Oh and Kylo, I heard the mission was cancelled?”

“Because you got drunk, General,” Kylo told him. He felt a little bad for Hux, but also quite glad it wasn’t, once again, his own fault for a cancelled mission. Nodding, Hux muttered something sounding like ‘of course. Sorry’ and walked off. Kylo drummed the edge of the cart, watching the General walk off. 

Once Hux disappeared around a corner, Kylo turned, continuing to push the cart and making TIE Fighter sounds.

* * *

 Hux needed to ask Phasma about what had happened. It’s not that he didn’t trust Kylo, the guy was just an idiot sometimes. Phasma will tell him every last itty bitty detail. The correct details too, nothing warped. So to her quarters he headed. But Hux walked in on Phasma at the weirdest moment. She was sitting crossed-legged on her bed, armour and everything on. She wore a party hat, a cupcake sitting in front of her with a lit candle.

“Haappyy Biirthdaay to mee,” She finished singing, lifting up the cupcake, then tried blowing out the candle, forgetting entirely about her helmet. “Oh, oh force damn it!”

“Er, Captain?” Hux said. She hadn’t noticed him there at all. Scaring her, Phasma jumped, landing on the floor, cupcake flying out of her hands. Candle still lit, it landed back on her bed, onto her sheets, going up in flames. Neither Hux nor Phasma reacted immediately, too shocked at how fast everything happened. Hux finally yelled out something entirely incoherent, he wasn’t even sure what he said himself. Phasma screamed too, getting up from the floor. The two ran out of the room, yelling out for some help. Troopers came running. One sensible trooper calling for help on his comm. A swarm of troopers tried to put it out with other sheets they could find.

It was total chaos.

To make matters worse Kylo – of course it was Kylo – came running, swinging his lightsaber around, “I SENSE A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE!”

“KYLO NO!” Phasma yelled out. Too late. Limbs, heads and machines went flying as Kylo carelessly swung around the lightsaber. Hux and Phasma threw themselves to the floor when Kylo came over in their direction, Phasma stuck her foot out, Kylo tripping over it. He fell to the floor, skidding, dropping his lightsaber which thankfully switched off.

A group of troopers appeared with barrels of water to turn off the fire. They had to jump over some bodies, but they got to Phasma’s room before absolutely  _everything_  had gone up into flames.

“MY THINGS!” Phasma yelled, scrambling to her feet, running into her room. The fire quickly dying out. 

Hux grabbed Kylo by the collar, “REN HOW MANY FUCKING SOLDIERS DID YOU JUST KILL!?”

Kylo whimpered.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a review and/or kudos! <3 :D


End file.
